Mo: So. how you do with that little midget girl you sent out?
Chocolate Giddy-up: Eh, she keep coming up short.
Which is pretty funny.
I had to look for a blaxploitation movie about disability for Black History Month
Blind Rage (1976) is a blaxploitation movie about five blind guys who rob a bank.
I need more intersectionality
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| And it also has trans representation |
The movie starts promisingly with a car driving over a song
We live in a world
Of heartaches and pain
And somehow you feel
Life's just but a game
So dare not say why
You have to survive
The moment you fall
Into the system
William Crow, the Treasurer of the United States, holds a meeting about Project South East Asia, code name ESA. He asks everyone their names and ranks.
So, the entire movie has this slight fuzzy tone underneath it. There's no problem understanding most words, but names are tricky. I looked up a cast list to help. The bold names are the characters important enough to get a name in the cast, so I have their exact names. The others are guesses.
Johnny Duran, president of the Oriental bank.
Broker Griffen, departent of foreign affairs
Jack Kendall, secret service
James Menker, central intelligence
ESA is designed to stop the fall of Vietnam, which will have a domino effect on other independent nations. $15 million will be transferred secretly to the Oriental Bank.
The entire stability of Southeast Asia is at stake in the first five minutes.
Crow tells people to keep the operation a secret.
Later, a man named Lew Simpson stops in a diner and tells Johnny Duran that he knows about the money and the ESA. Oops.
He offers $25 million dollars in exchange for the $15 million dollars.
Either he has a great investment plan or $10 million is a good price for the fall of Southeast Asia.
Simpson keeps looking over his shoulder but talks in a loud voice. Maybe the other patrons can't hear him over the fuzzy track.
Simpson says he knows that Duran only has $1,100.29
Already, you can tell that Blind Rage (1976) has a sophisticated sense of humor. A lesser movie might have a number like $1,135.29, and the humor comes from Simpson knowing the exact amount. However, Blind Rage (1976) performs a reversal of expectations. The number $1,100 implies that Simpson is rounding to the nearest hundred dollars. The addition of "and twenty-nine cents" completely changes the audiences perception. Simpson does know the exact amount.
Simpson leaves Duran his card, saying he has a foolproof plan for robbing the bank.
The next day, they meet on Simpson's yacht.
Duran: How many people have their offices on a yacht?
Simpson: Very few. We both work for different organizations. The difference is that I make more money than you do.
You may think that the yacht is a way to establish Simpson's powerful position over Duran.
You would be wrong.
It's to cut to shots of women in bikinis.
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| Necessary re-establishing shot |
Simpson tells Johnny that his fool-proof plan is that the bank robbers will be blind. Since being blind enhances other sense, this means that robbing a bank is fool-proof.
Sure. This movie started with the political stability of Southeast Asia, so why not?
Let's meet our robbers!
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| WILLIE BLACK |
Willie Black: Former mobster, blinded when a hit on him failed
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| LIN WANG |
Lin Wang, former liquidator, got eyes burned when he double-crossed someone on an opium deal.
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| HECTOR LOPEZ |
Hector Lopez, blind matador, lost his eyes when a bull gored him
We don't see this in a cutaway.
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| AMAZING ANDERSON |
Amazing Anderson, blind magician. Born blind, the only one without a criminal record.
We also don't see him in a cutaway.
I wish we knew what Lopez did to get a criminal record. If you are going to make the exposition this blatant, might as well go all the way.
Just to clarify the proposition, the following people are going to steal possibly the most important and secured money in the world.
1. Someone who barely survived a hit on him.
2, Someone who double-crossed an opium dealer and got caught.
3. Someone who was injured by a bull.
4. A random magician.
And all four are blind.
The next day, they travel to a lot of establishing shots of Las Vegas.
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| That is some solid advertising |
Willie Black accepts the job without asking what it is
In Mexico city, Hector Lopez accepts the job without asking what it is
In Tokyo, Amazing Anderson accepts the job without asking what it is.
In Hong Kong, Lin Wang accepts the job without asking what it is.
I don't want to say "dumbest movie I've covered so far", especially this early in the running time, but I am tempted.
In Manila, Simpson meets with an adaptive sports coach, Sally
This is the second exploitation movie in a row about adaptive sports.
Yeah, she should be getting $77,000.
I can't believe that they filmed in the actual Oriental bank and didn't just put the letters "oriental Bank" on a building!
A government official mentions that the safe looks very secure.
This is a literary technique called "when you don't have the budget to show, tell"
They load the money into the safe.
The blind guys arrive in Manila for training.
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| What a diverse blaxploitation movie! |
This has been annoying me lately. Everyone complains about lack of representation in the media, but there are thousands and thousands of movie that have tons of diverse representation.
Sally gives everyone a brief recap of the plot. The five men accept the plan to go through training and rob the bank in three weeks.
Another government official comes to the bank to test the security.
MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTION:
How does one protect the vault of money that is critical for the stability of South East Asia?
a. a series of locks with only a few copies of keys, entrusted to government officials in different countries.
b. A long alphanumerical code
c. Biometrics
d. A wheel
Okay, it's not that bad. But its still bad. Once he touches the wheel, some guards with guns come out.
Sally tells Simpson that they need a fifth guy who is good with electronics to disable the alarm. His name is Ben Guavara and, as Sally says
"He needs the money to get even with the world for what happened to him years ago"
"What happened" is a lot of shooting and some torture.
"Torture" is drilling out his eyes.
You don't actually see the drill pierces his eyes.
And neither does he!
Sally tracks down Ben Guavara and offers the same deal.
...if they keep adding more people and offiering the same amount of money, they will run out of money, defeating the point of the heist.
Ben Guavara figures out that they want blind guys so that, if one of them gets caught, they won't be able to pinpoint anyone.
...that's actually somewhat clever. For Blind Rage (1976)
But the money convinces him.
The movie is one third over and it's just recruiting people!
Sally gathers all five blind men into her training grounds and lays out the reason: Nobody will suspect five blind men of robbing a bank. All of their shoes will be fitted with a metal plate, so that they know to shoot at any unfamiliar sound.
I keep thinking that there is no way for this plan to get worse and then it does.
Sally: Let's start by synchronizing your Braille watches.
This line stuck out to me. Why would someone who teaches blind people specify "Braille" watches? Does she add that descriptor to everything they have that is in Braille. This may seem trivial, but the way the actress emphasized the "Braille" made it seem like the most important part of the sentence. I assume that it was for the audience, but we can see that the watches are in Braille. Blindman (1971) did this much better with the contoured map.
And I just praised the subtlety of Blindman
Sally tells them that it will take 15 steps to reach the door from the elevator
assuming they all have similar strides
Sally has put together a mock bank and leads the five met through it. She has them distinguish the sound of their footsteps from each other.
Just wondering how she got to build a replica of the Oriental Bank with the exact measurements. My guess is that she got the information from Johnny, unless she had random people go into the Oriental Bank and measure it. But would Johnny even know the measurements of the Bank? If not, wouldn't Johnny measuring the distances between things in the Bank be suspicious. keep in mind that these are exact measurements
What I'm saying is that Blind Rage is pretty unrealistic.
Sally has also made a replica of the system to deactivate the alarm. Somehow she got the information of the security system.
These are probably deleted scenes.
Simpson calls Duran to check up on the training process. Duran says they need more practice.
Sally check in on "John" (not Johnny), who is repairing a car. He confirms that it will be done by the tenth.
The point of this scene is...um...
The title song plays over the mock bank robbery.
The line "life's just but a game" emphasizes that this robbery is just but a game. and are those dummies necessary? "Dummies" is ableist, anyway.
The camera shakes. It's stylistic choice.
Almost halfway into this blaxploitation film and no sexual assault! Willie sneaks into Sally's room as she's sleeping and starts kissing her. Ben comes in and rescues her.
There's a half-naked girl on the cover. I have the feeling that they finished the script for this movie and realized they had no sex in it, so they went back and added some scenes.
We've established tension between Willie and Ben. I doubt that this will go anywhere.
Sally trains them in shooting at dummies.
There's an attempt at a joke here. they have to shoot at any unfamiliar sounds. Some people toss dummies and chairs around. but one guy lights a cigarette and gets shot.
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| "It's not a problem if we make fun on it" |
They beat up some guys, and Sally says that they are all set for tomorrow, where they will attempt to rob the mot important money in the world.
Tomorrow?
The movie is only a little over halfway over
So, five blind men walk into a bank, and the bank-teller says "This sort of thing only happen in movies."
Sally waits in the car outside. A police officer tells her that there is no parking, so Sally claims to have engine problems.
They go through the motions of the bank robbery, counting steps and everything. Ben Guavara uses a key to get into the operations room.
How did he get a key? Did Johnny Duran give it to him? Do I care?
Hector Lopez feels his Braille Watch, takes out his gun, and takes down too people next to him.
The film speeds up.
The other men take out their guns. and get everyone up against the wall
Lopez changes the sign from "open" to "closed"
There's a scene in Black Dynamite parodying this where Black Dynamite changes "closed" to "open".
I'm glad I'm seeing the actual genre after I saw the parody.
Li Want accidentally pushes a chair. Willie Black points his gun, but Wang taps his shoe twice.
To establish that this system works.
Two security guards try to sneak up on Guavara, but he beats them. In doing so, he smashes something that looks important.
Back when I complained about the safe, it was wrong. You need two keys. .
But that wasn't clear.
And it doesn't matter, because the two managers have the keys.
And there's another door behind them. The manager has that key as well.
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| That Cinematography |
Willie Black escapes with the money and something explodes. and somehow there is half an hour left.
Emergency services arrive and cart away injured people. Mr. Fernadiz, the president of the bank, explains the situation.
The bank manager says that he thinks the robbers ere foreigners.
The investigators find a blind man's cane in the basment. This, along with the descriptions that all the men wore sunglasses, leads the detective to believe that all five robbers were blind.
I can't think of any other reason robbers would hide their identity with sunglasses.
Man, I was almost giving credit to this movie for making the "blind guys robbing a bank" scheme attractive.
Sally calls Johnny because the guys are "getting edgy". After robbing the bank.
The head of the Bureau of Immigration identitifies Ben Guavara as a blind criminal and sends some agents to track him down.
If only there was a greater representation of blind immigrants with criminal records, these robbers could have gotten away with it.
Johnny gives Sally a pack of plane tickets to dole out to the five men and herself. Sally says okay, but asks for half the money. Negotiation skills.
The police bring a dog to a police lineup of blind men. The dog sniffs the cane, and then identifies Ben.
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| Despite picture quality, that's a dog |
This is called a disservice dog.
I assume that the questioning will take a long time...
Just kidding. Ben Guavara gives the names of the other four men, as well as Sally, and goes to locate the training area.
Maybe the others should have put so much blind faith in him.
Guavara leads the agents to the training grounds. He is untied in the back.
Sally loads the other four men and the money into a truck. She drives.
You know, this is the first well-done, suspenseful scene in the movie! And there are twenty whole minutes left.
The agents lead Guavara to the house
Guavara: This is the house
Agent: You mean you can tell that this is the house by touching it?
Upon learning that the four robbers have left, the investigators decide to close down the streets to the hospital.
I hate it when my flights get delayed because some blind men have stolen the $15 million that keeps SouthEast Asia from collapsing!
There's a clever scene where you think a security agent calls back "Mr. Duran" because of the crime, but it is just because he forgot his boarding pass.
Even Blind Rage (1976) can have clever moments
Security checks each car The four robbers are stuck lying down in the underbelly of a truck labelled "inflammable" Someone is driving. I don't know who.
And then the gasoline starts leaking.
When the security guards is checking that truck.
I don't know if this is coming across, but this is one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen.
The guard hears them yelling and tries to get in the truck, but they drives away.
Meanwhile, Johnny boards an airplane.
Meanwhile, the guards call in helicopter reinforments
Meanwhile, the men are partially submerged in gasoline
Meanwhile, the airplane starts moving.
Meanwhile, the gasoline truck hits an airplane and explodes.
...well, there goes most of the main characters.
This movie somehow makes an exploding airplane and gasoline truck anti-climactic. How do you do that?
The police ask the airport security for their passenger manifest and find Duran's name.
I would think that the airport would be a lot more frantic considering an AIRPLANE JUST BLEW UP.
In the last ten minutes, Jesse Crowder appears
He is in this movie, according to the credits. In the final ten minutes
Not including ending credits
Jesse Crowder gets the mission to meet Duran at the airport and follow him. He takes some men with him. Killgore and Small
KILLGORE AND SMALL
Man: Crowder? Good luck
Crowder: Luck ain't got nothing to do with it.
And there's your line for the trailer.
Crowder waits suspiciously around the airport, smoking. The 70s.
Duran gets in a car and drives. Crowder follows.
The instrumental theme song plays. Good. That's about the only good thing about this movie.
They find Duran at the Sunset Orange Hotel.
Duran calls Simpson from a payphone and informs him that he has the money and will meet him in an hour.
...it's the 70s. Maybe it was safe to use payphones to discuss criminal activities back then.
Crowder overhears them, of course, and follows them to the dumbest line in the movie.
Crowder: It's going down right now at the International House of Pancakes.
....I've been alive over two decades and I never imagined to hear the following line in a movie:
Crowder: It's going down right now at the International House of Pancakes.
Unfortunately the remaining few minutes involves the police arresting people, Crowder chasing Duran up a building, and not shooting him.
Crowder tosses away his gun and THEY FIGHT ON THE ROOFTOP OF THE INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES.
The police arrest Duran and Crowder stares at a cigar.
The credits roll over the awesome title song.
Blind Rage is one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen, but I am glad I watched it.
Why?
Crowder: It's going down now at the InternationAL House of Pancakes.
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