Legends of Chamberlain Heights is supposedly a really bad cartoon.
Already there is a problem with the title. Maybe "Cane and Able" would be better. The reference just doesn't stand out with the current title.
The first five seconds confirms the "really bad cartoon" rumor. I love it when shows get straight to the point.
Let me explain the jokes: Minnesota stereotypes exist.
These are the two main characters. The black one is named Jamal. The white one is named Milk Because of course they are.
This is Grover. He tries to call in and get tickets for a ball game. He succeeds in getting the tenth caller and a woman issues to the following challenge:
Name a Black life the Kardashians have not ruined.
Wow, it's like they want this show to become dated as soon as possible.
After a few unfunny racist guesses, Grover suggests...
I had to find a transcript of the episode because the dialogue is fairly incomprehensible. If the characters didn't deliver it so quickly, maybe it would better.
From the screenshots, you may have noticed the art style. Namely, the thick lines around the characters. The animation consists of flipping between two images or three images of whichever character is speaking. The other characters stay still except for blinking.
This is probably intentionally and has some artistic meaning that I don't get. However, it would be nice if I could follow the dialogue without the transcript.
The women stated that Grover has only ten seconds to guess. However, he takes 17 seconds to answer. Given the other problem with this show, I can't nitpick.
According to the transcript, this is a...coherent joke. If you don't think about it too much, it is mildly amusing.
Grover: Uh, Ray J?
Women: I'm sorry, the correct answer is Brandy's brother.
Grover: Ray J is Brandy's bother
Women: Wait a minute, I'm googling....Yes, congratulations!
I think The Other Sister has temporarily numbed my sense of humor.
The joke would probably be better if I could hear it instead of having to get a transcript.
At the game, Ray J comes up and asks "Aye, they hooked y'all up with Twizzlers, too?"
Okay, I was prepared to just let the pop culture references go over my head, but this one was intriguing. Well, more intriguing than the show. And, apparently, there is no connection between Ray J and Twizzlers. The most relevant result was the transcript of this episode.
The opening credits reveal something important.
The alleged legends (alLLEGENDS?) are upset that the seats that they won are at third tier. I am also shocked that the free seats are at the back of the stadium. So they decide to get the seats at the bottom, which Jamal claims are "reserved for the physically unfortunate."
Physically unfortunate.
That is the funniest thing in this episode so far. Remember when I said my sense of humor is currently numb?
Thus the alleged plot emerges: they have to pretend to be disabled to get in the front row seats.
This could be a funny situation if it weren't in The Legends of Chamberlain Heights.
Despite Jamal claiming that the seats are for the "physically unfortunate", Milk acts "mentally unfortunate", and everyone watching this episode is just "unfortunate."
Keep practicing that impression, and you could grow up to be president.
LeBron makes a basket and comes to give Grover a high-five
There are only three frames of animation for the high-five and three of dust.
But this is a "stylistic choice" and completely okay.
Boobs.
Man, at least this show has racially diverse objectification of women.
After the game, LeBron gives three legends his shirt, pants, and drawers.
Man, at least this show has objectification of men and women. And racial stereotypes.
His penis is censored. This led me on another Google search of whether Legends of Chamberlain Heights was originally uncensored but found nothing.
Montrel, who is apparently a drug addict, goes into another mildly amusing joke.
The drugs are all named after famous people with disabilities. One is named Christopher Reeves. What's the joke?
Flashback to the first time Montrel smoked. He used his scholarship to smoke. This is social commentary on the value of college degrees.
At Duncan High, Milk claims that they are about to become legends. Hey, it's like the title of the show.
Everyone in school flocks to them, for some reason. Does high school work like this?
Jackie compliments the Vine of Milk motorboating the cheerleader. Vine?
This is Jackie. They could make a joke, but Milk just says that Jackie could have been down with them with his eye.
A blonde girl asks Milk when he will call her. He disparages her lack of tan and sufficiently attractive posterior.
She tells Milk that the artists for Legends of Chamberlain Heights chose a slightly darker shade for his skin than for hers, and she can't really change it now.
A generic bully makes several statement implying that Milk is homosexual. Then he leaves.
Milk gets this text.
The writers of Legends of Chamberlain Heights know the Millennials.
Jamal points out the misspellings (thanks) and guesses it it from Floyd Mayweather or 2 Chainz. I'm not going to waste time Googling references.
I just noticed that Jamal is still wearing the bib.
Another series of texts indicate that the sender is watching them. Jamal decides to look to see who is on their phone
The writers of Legends of Chamberlain Heights know the millennials.
The circled girl is just Jamal with feminine signifiers. The character designs are so intricate, they decided to just use the existing ones and change some things to save time.
The anonymous sender of texts threatens to beat them up.
Montrel decides to use drugs in an uninteresting B-plot.
The alleged legends, who I will not call "allegends", decide that the perpetrator is "Dyslexic Donny" because of the misspelled words.
Milk vows to hit Donny so hard it will "make him lexic again"
Hey, that's kind of funny.
Enter the titular cane.
I remember high-school. The teachers left their names and the class name on the board at all times in case we forgot.
Mr. Green explains that they will be dissecting fetal pigs. This was foreshadowed at the establishing shot of the school
Jamal asks if anyone has any Thousand Island Dressing, because even he finds this plot tasteless.
Jackie tries to tell Mr Green that this pig is still alive, but Mr. Green won't listen. The pig bites Jackie's lip and runs away.
Female Character Model of Jamal acts as the hippie who opposes dissection. An eagle flies in, kills the pig, and carries it away.
I make a chart.
Milk finds his pig intestines
The misspellings confirm that it is Dyslexic Danny.. No other kid would misspell a word when writing in pig intestines.
Special Ted comes in with his gang of disabled people.
Oh my god, this is so offensive. THEY HAVE A TOKEN BLACK PERSON AND A TOKEN WOMAN.
Special Ted is upset that they faked being disabled and wants to fight Milk
Milk declines because he is disabled.
Everyone boos because Milk is being prejudiced.
Having nothing wrong with you doesn't make it all right
Cue chants of "Ableist, Ableist"
If I wanted to see this, I would just browse Twitter or Tumblr.
Honestly though, this show just got amazing.
Milk agrees to the challenge. Special Ted yanks his protective hand wrap off.
We are over halfway through the episode and the really interesting plot-line just started. The logical thing to do is cut to the B-plot about Montrel using drugs with "surreal" imagery. The art and animation style doesn't really lend itself to the surreal.
Anyway, back to the interesting plot. Best line so far.
I'm not just fighting Drool Moe Dee. I'm fighting prejudice.
Mr. Green begs Milk not to fight Special Ted. Because Special Ted is a bully who terrorizes the other students and the teachers.
It is about time we get representation of people with disabilities as high school bullies.
Not even joking. When was the last time you saw a character with a disability being a one-note bully? Usually the victim is disabled.
I feel like a lot of people say "we need more representation of people with disabilities in the media" and then turn around and nitpick every representation for being "problematic."
Here's the thing: every character in this show is a jerk or stereotype. Why should the disabled character be any different?
The only problem I have with this is Milk should have know Special Ted is a bully.
Milk confesses that he doesn't know what to do. If he fight Special Ted, he will lose. If he doesn't fight, he will be labeled ableist.
Grover solved this by calling up an offensive joke.
Legends of Chamberlain High, I am trying to be offended, but you keep switching targets!
The hotline is busy. This should mean that someone else called in a bomb threat, but I am not analyzing the logic of this show.
Back to less than a minutes of Montrel on drugs. This is the B-plot if it has enough content to be a "plot."
Milk has hired Floyd Mayweather to beat up Special Ted. Mayweather tries to read the label on a milk carton to find Milk, but gives up and just shows them the label.
This could be funny, except I remember this book from elementary school.
Jamal tells Mayweather that Special Ted is in the library. Mayweather asks what a library is.
The joke is that he is illiterate.
The three allegends listed to a beating inside the library. We all know how this is going to end.
Mayweather walks out and his head falls off.
It's difficult to explain how jerky the animation is in a written review, but here is a good example. These two images are one frame apart.
There will be no legal consequences
I just noticed that Milk's shirt is the Nike logo upside down.
Maybe not.
Milk takes the money and pays Special Ed to not fight him. The moral is that money fixes everything.
Special Ed says he can buy a new orthopedic Tim. Milk tells him to get it with extra Velcro.
I searched the transcript for Tims because I felt that this was established earlier. It was. Back when Mr. Green tried to warn Milk about Special Ted, Milk mentioned that Special Ted "Velcroed his Tims"
Either Tims sponsored this episode so they could put Nikes logo upside down on his shirt or Nike sponsored this episode to make the witty jab about velcroing Tims.
Special Ted throws back the money, saying he doesn't need it because he is on Disability.
See liberal, this is why we need to curtail Disability. Think of how many bullies rejected bribes to not beat someone else up because of welfare!
Milk strings together a bunch of insults. The best one is "Cuba-Gooding-as-Radio-idolizing"
This is clever. You make your cartoon seem less offensive by referencing a more offensive piece of media.
Special Ted strings together a bunch of insults. The best one is "act-like-you-from-the-hood-but-your-house-has-three-stories."
I think this scene would be better if Special Ted was black, but a disabled black bully is too much representation!
Milk reinstates the challenge. He got his money back twice!
The payoff for the Montrel B-"plot"? He gets a call from his agent offering a contract, but the drugs affect his too much for him to make it to the phone. That was a waste of time.
Grover asks whether Milk is really going to fight Special Ted. Milk responds with a moving speech:
The most successful people in America is pretenders.
Tupac pretending to be dead.
Drake pretending he can sing.
The WNBA pretending to be a sport.
I was pretending to be disabled.
That's what real ones do.
We pretend.
So you know what I say? I say let the hustlers play.
And if I have to fight for it, I'ma fight for it.
Milk: Wow! That is some of the stupidest shit ever uttered.
Special Ted and his sister approach. His sister (Thea) tells him to hurry up because Mom is waiting in the car. Hey, that's kind of funny.
Ted: I haven't gotten pussy like this in a long time
Wow! Not only do we have the rare representation of a disabled bully, we also someone with a disability interested in sex. Will Legends of Chamberlain Heights ever fail to impress?
Jamal warns about "baby arm."
The fight begins. It's pretty riveting. As riveting as this animation will allow.
The conclusion of this episode is amazing and brings to light some important issues about institutional power and privilege in the intersectionality of the trans, disabled, and feminist communities.
I have to stop looking at Twitter so much.
Milk insults Thea as Ted's "ugly ass brother" Thea begins beating up Milk.
Milk announces that he can't hit a girl and takes the beating. Jamal claims that this will make them legends.
Thea attacks Milk's male privilege
Jamal wittingly says that this will make Milk's voice annoying high, The joke is that Jamal's voice is annoyingly high. They laugh. Special Ted beats them up.
This could be a good place to end the episode, but Jamal explains the joke:
At least we earned these seats this time.
This is frustrating. The show is awful. However, the story of this episode is hilarious. I love that we finally see a bully with a disability.
My biggest complaint is the title. The only cane is minor and there are no biblical allegories in the story. What a waste of a great title!
No comments:
Post a Comment