It starts with an appropriate allegory for the audience watching this move.
The hand of the other sister make necklaces for Father, Mother, Heather, Winnie, and Caroline. Well, that is an efficient way to introduce characters,
The camera pan over a sign of "Roselake School' Well, that is efficient way to establish setting
The other sister scoops a goldfish out of a bowl. I already hate her.
A man picks up his daughter Carla, the other sister, from a therapeutic school.
It's confusing that we meet the titular other sister before "the sister."
Carla is upset that she has to go home from school. Carla takes the goldfish on the plane, reminding us that this movie was made in 1999.
You know how Riding the Bus with My Sister inserted flashbacks that connected to scenes in the present day story? Expect more of that. The father remembers a dinner in which Carla tried to eat cake with a knife and then threw a tantrum. The most relevant part of this scene is The Sistertm
Carla's parents try to figure out what to do. The mother wants to send her to the private school, but the father is concerned that they won't be able to visit her. The children eavesdrop.
They arrive in generic white suburbia.
Carla shyly walks in and the music reminds us that this is supposed to be a sad scene because she is awkward. I love movies that cue
Carla asks who a man is. It is Jeff Green, who is engaged to The Sistertm.
Dessert time. Thi movie is on fast-forward. Jeff says he is working on a doctorate titled. "Multi-tiered financing of petrochemical surveys in uncertain political terrains"
The mother reminds that The Sister hasn't used her degree and this was relevant in 1999
Carla claims she wants to go to school and become a veterinarian asistant. Her mother shoots it down.
Flashback to some kids bullying Carla. Carla pushes one of them down the stairs. If this were The Twilight Zone, he would be dead.
Back in the present day. Carla's mom shows her her room. It is completely redecorated and Carla is not happy. Carla's mom had asked the doctor what her favorite colors were and redecorated the room accordingly.
This school must be great at preparing the students for transition back home. They even tell parents their children's favorite colors
We learn that The Sister tm's name is Caroline and gives us the only interesting shot of the movie
Carla also undresses.
I'm not against the objectification of women or any other gender in movies. I just don't think using underwear choice is the most logical means to indicate character traits.
Carla's mom promising to "make it up" to Carla, not indicating what "it" is. The most efficient method is 1999 pop music over a montage.
Carla tries tennis and wants to quit. The maid tells her that "all well-bred girls play tennis, chess or bridge."
In any other "comedy", this would be a set up to a "joke". For example, Carla gets hit by a tennis ball, falls down, and says something like "Does chess involve getting hit?" or "Will Bridge be less painful?".
In this movie, Carla just asks if she can quit again. I started this movie with extremely low expectations for humor, but I at least expected complete jokes.
Cut to Carla and her mother shopping. A show salesman creepily rubs Carla's feet and makes sexual comments. The mother interrupts. I started this movie with extremely low expectations for humor, but at U at least expected attempts at jokes
Next they go to the opening of an animal shelter. Carla's mother opened the shelter. i think. The pop song is louder than the dialogue. I started this movie with extremely low expectations for humor, but I at least expected to be able to hear the attempts at jokes.
Carla starts talking to one of the dogs in the cages while her mom makes a speech. Then she gets up and barks at the dog. She opens the cage and half-hearted mayhem ensues.
I started this movie with extremely low expectations for humor, but I at least expected a scene in which dogs escape to not be the highlight of the humor.
Carla's mom complains on the phone that she tries all these things to make Carla happy, but nothing works. Also, she is upset that she doesn't know what Carla finds fun and Carla won't tell her. Why not just ask the school that informed you of Carla's favorite color?
Carla runs away but leaves a note, which the maid finds. She yells that Carla has run away.
Cut to a plane. Wait, what?
APPARENTLY, the police found her and asked for her home address. She gave them the school's name.
One would think that, if a police found someone lost, and she told them her address was a school in a place only accessible by plane, they would call the school first. Then the school would respond "Oh yeah, her parents picked her up a few days ago. Let me tell you her parents' phone number and home address."
Maybe she managed to walk far enough to be closer to the school than to home. If that were the case, it must be weeks later because they had to take a plane to get there. The parents didn't notice/find the note for weeks?
Carla's parents meet with the head of the school. He tells them that the mother is smothering her. sMother.
The head says Carla tried to hitchhike 200 miles. So that is an explanation,
The rest of the conversation is essentially "You should stop making decision for Carla and let her be independent."
Here is a handy tip for writing: Telling characters the moral fifteen minutes into a movie makes the remaining hour and forty-five minutes even more agonizing
Carla wants to attend a vocational school called Bay Area Polytech. Her mother say no because of the welding.
"I think welding would help Carla form strong bonds" the head would say if he was in a good movie.
The scene in which the parents and Carla decide to try Bay Area Polytech was cut, so let's just jump ahead to her first day with an ominous slogan
Creepy guys harass Carla, so she takes out her pepper spray. Problem solved.
Carla registers for Computer 101. There is another developmentally disabled person in line who gets bullied. A girl calls him a retard and the camera holds on Carla's face. I wonder why they put that scene in.
At Computer Class, the girl next to Carla flirts with the professor. This movie defines flirting as standing up and playing with the waistline of your pants while asking for private lessons. This movie was made in 1999.
In her room, Carla practices the waistband trick. Her dad walks in. I think that this is supposed to be sad. Or funny. Or awkward.
The boy who got bullied in the line (Daniel) introduces himself to carla. Carla says she is waiting for her dad to pick her up. He asks her out for
Carla and Daniel ride to a bus station, making me think of Riding the Bus With My Sister. Daniel makes a joke and laughs. Carla gets upset because she doesn't like people laughing at her.
I hope she doesn't read this blog.
Carla and Daniel go a bar and game the system.
Daniel warns Carla not to play against Black Widow That better be relevant later.
Daniel explains the intricacies of the bus system to Carla. This movie stops crawling along and comes to a complete stop.
Daniel has a job working at a football field. He says he gets paid in marshmallows.
This is an a alleged joke. spectators throw marshmallows at the field and he cleans out the tubas.
See liberals, if he currently gets 5.15 marshmallows/hour, that means his employer is willing to offer 5.15 marshmallows for one hour of his time. If the government raises the minimum marshmallow wage to 5.85 marshmallows/hour, the employer will lay him off because he can't spare that extra 0.70 marshmallow/hour.
Carla is jealous that Daniel gets to live in an apartment alone and says that she couldn't. Daniel tells her that she could do it as well.
It's Carla's birthday.
You know what would be nice? If the movie told us carla's age. I just think it is logical for a coming-of-age movie to reveal the main character's age.
I screen-shotted and enlarged to count the candles. It was rather difficult to figure out the placement of the candles, but it appears to be in two rows. I counted 11 in a row, but the two rows probably aren't even. So Carla is anywhere from 20-25. I shouldn't have to go through all this trouble to figure out a pretty important piece of information
Carla wants to get her own apartment, but her mother deflects. Carla runs into the house
Heather volunteers the following argument;
"You know, a lot of the new books out right now, they advocate disabled people living on their own."
The family decide to hold a meeting and do a vote. The mother agrees, but refuses to let Carla get her own apartment. That's...not how voting works
Her mother says Heather doesn't get a vote because she doesn't live here any more. Furthermore, Carla can't live alone because "What if there was a fire?"
Her mother continues to shoot down all of her family's suggestions because she is guilty about putting Carla into the school.
I wish I had posted this review the week of Mother's Day.
The sisters go inside. We learn that Carla's father used to be an alcoholic because this situation isn't generic enough. Carla's mom yells at him and he leaves
Fifty seconds later, she finds him an apologizes. Are we going to ever get a conflict?
Nobody is at dinner. The mother sarcastically asks
"Is anyone coming to dinner or are we voting on what's being served?"
My standards for humor from this movie are now so low that I found that amusing.
Everyone else comes in wearing the necklaces. This is supposed to increase tension or something.
The mother says that she is going to "try and see it their way" Carla interprets this as "You can get an apartment."
The next day, Carla's dad picks her up and sees her saying goodbye to Daniel. She insists he is just a friend, but her dad thinks he is her boyfriend.
Carla's mom is upset and confronts her in the middle of a rainy park. Carla straight up asks "is this a sex talk?" The joke is that it is awkward and she pronounces coitus incorrectly.
Her mom tells Carla not to have any boys over, reinforcing the heteronormative culture,
Carla gets lost in the bus system with a relevant song in the background
This is going to be a Me Before You style movie, where the songs tell you what mood you should be in.
Carla makes it to Daniel's house. They talk about music and Daniel gets upset when Carla sings the blues. Daniel plays a marching band song and marches around. Ernie, a painter, comes in.
An agent shows Carla's mom videos of potential apartments. She casually mentions that she wishes Carla was there to watch the videos. We got the message half an hour ago.
Carla and Daniel are watching The Graduate. The best four seconds in this two hour movie are from another movie
Daniel asks whether Carla wants to be his friends. She says that they already are friends, and Daniel clarifies that when he said "friend", he lied and meant "boyfriend"
This is a huge red flag. If he can't communicate clearly before you are dating, what will happen if you agree?
Cut back to apartment shopping. Her mom chooses one based on the windows and fireplaces. People with disabilities have such specific criteria for apartments!
Running back home, Carla stops at the Bakery in which Daniel works. How did he get from his house to the bakery?
Carla tells him she got her own apartment and moves in in two weeks. Wait, what?
This movie has trouble conveying chronology and length of time skips. Remember when I had to do a analysis to figure out her age?
The Graduate, marshmallows, and the intricacy of the bus system took precedent over showing Carla's reaction to her mom picking out an apartment in this story about Carla moving away from her parents and into her own apartment. I'm not doubting the brilliance of this movie; I just don't understand the significance of those elements.
At school, Daniel shows Carla the music room. He missed band practice, but the Dixie Land Band(?) is practicing. He gets to conduct one song.
Carla calls her sister and tells her that Daniel asked her to a dance.
Once again, The Other Sister skips showing Carla's initial reaction to news in favor of her relaying said news to other characters. I'm not sure what the dramatic purpose of this technique is, but it sure does make a dull movie even duller.
Carla wants to do her make-up, and her sister tells her to go to the mall.
Carla almost goes to a $35 makeover, but there is a free demonstration at another station. She goes, but later learns that the free demonstration only does half her face and she has to pay $50 for the other half.
\
Back at home, Carla's mother wipes off her makeup and says a lot of people will try to take advantage of her. If this movie was actually good, I would say that that was a clever way to show asymmetrical information.
Are "free makeovers that only cover half the face" really a common problem for people with disabilities?
Carla's mom won't do her make-up, but she will teach her how to dance. We have to make a movie with almost no plot stretch to two hours somehow.
Carla keeps asking questions about sex and I think it's supposed to be funny. It's difficult to figure out where the jokes are in this movie when the jokes don't have any humor in them.
On Halloween, Carla dresses up as a swan to go to her first dance. Daniel comes to pick up Carla. Her mom was unaware that she had a boyfriend
Daniel is dressed as a rat and Carla's mom isn't impressed. They leave for the dance.
Not saying that the movie should go in this direction, but "Carla" sounds a lot like "Carrie" and her mother doesn't want her to go to her first dance.
This decoration is slightly horrifying
A staff member tells the students that first quarter grades are posted downstairs. During the Halloween dance.
Carla and Daniel go to see their grades. Carla got a 77.
But that's not interesting. I am more interested if the girl who asked for private lessons got them. It depends whether her name is Hayley or Jamie
But I'm assuming that they sit in alphabetical order. How come this movie spends so much time on dancing and bus schedules but forgets to resolve crucial subplots?
Carla is excited that she passed. Daniel looks sadly at the sheet until the movie believes it has achieved suspense. Carla reassures him that he didn't fail by much. Daniel breaks down and says he is dumb until the movie believes it has achieved drama.
The rat costume really prevents any chances of one taking this scene seriously.
Following the trend of not having any conflict last for more than a few minutes, Carla reassures Daniel that he isn't dumb and they kiss. Now the movie has reached the paradoxical state where nothing happens but everything happens too quickly simultaneously
Montage of Carla and Daniel doing things. In case you didn't realize that this is uplifting, the soundtrack plays an appropriate upbeat song..
Carla's parents go on a therapeutic sailing trip. Her mom complains about how her children turned out. Her dad delivers the only funny line in the movie thus far.
"You're doing fine. They're not drug addicts, they're not ax-murders, they're not Democrats"
Carla's mom says she wonders whether they are mothers who are better equipped to deal with Carla. I mean, that isn't exactly a difficult criterion.
Now Carla moves into her own apartment. What?
So much of this movie is filler and repetition, but they skip over scenes that actually progress the story. One would think that the scene of moving into her own apartment is logical to include in a story about someone moving into her own apartment. But I think that this movie knows what it is doing,
Carla's mother has a handy list of what to do whenever Carla leaves the apartment
Then they leave, and a pop songs plays
Do what I want
Any old time
Do what I want
Any old time
Repeat forever.These songs are more on-the-nose than Me Before You.
Carla and Daniel are at a bar and watch someone doing body shots. Daniel says he may have to move to Florida. Good segue.
Back to The Graduate. Their relationship... progressed/
We have to listen to Daniel and Carla talk about having sex and the movie is trying to be funny/awkward but somehow becomes even more boring.
In a surprisingly dark turn, Daniel confesses that a cheerleader molested him while the marching band watched. This upsets Carla, but only because he was with someone before her.
Romantic comedies really shouldn't bring this stuff up casually if they aren't going to take it seriously. I made a Venn diagram to illustrate.
Carla says she loves Daniel and somehow the movie is only half over.
At home, Carla's dad plays chess to symbolize the power dynamics in the family or something like that.
Carla wants Daniel to move in. Her mother vetoes it because the parents pay rent. Carla retorts that her dad pays the rent for the house but her mom makes the rules.
Carla's mother tells her father that Daniel is just after Carla's money. Good. I'm glad this movie depicts real problems
Daniel and Carla look through The New Joy of Sex.
Dear all advocates who argue that there should be more representation of disabled people in sexual relationships,
Watch The Other Sister and be careful for what you argue in the future.
Daniel takes out so condoms from a family friendly place and demonstrates on a banana. So the banana bowl was actually functional and not merely symbolic. This movie gives us nothing.
Carla says she isn't ready and wants to wait for the next holiday so it will be "special". (Thanksgiving)
Daniel asks why she would want to lose her virginity on a holiday that celebrates imperialism and colonialism that resulted in the genocide of the Native Americans.
I mean, there is another montage with a pop song about respecting girls. I don't know how I mixed that up.
Cut ahead to Thanksgiving. Well, they didn't have to wait long.Carla has dinner at her house, and then has leftovers at her apartment with Daniel.
If the rest of the movie is just her postponing sex, I'm going to be very angry.
Carla tells Daniel that she made the sweet potatoes and added the marshmallows. Daniel says that those were his favorites. This literary technique is a call-back. Because Daniel had to clean out marshmallows from tubas.
Daniel reminds Carla about the sex.
Carla: I wonder who thought up sex in the first place
Daniel: I think it was Madonna, actually.
Joke? Maybe?
Carla and Daniel undress in separate rooms. Then they walk out to meet each other and kiss.
They walk into the bedroom. Daniel puts on the song "Seventy-Six Trombones" and checks "The New Joy of Sex."
Hint: If a book called "The New Joy of Sex" tells you to put on The Music Man in the background, try going back to "The Joy of Sex"
Hint 2: If you can't make any sex-related jokes about "Seventy-Six Trombones", stop writing romantic comedies.
Her mom and maid tell Carla that she looks different, because virginity is a tangible thing that matters.
Daniel calls his father and asks for him not to send money so he can move in with Carla. What is the purpose of this movie?
Daniel gets drunk and sings "If your happy and you know it" in the street. Ernie rescues him and Daniel talks about how Carla is the only one who likes him. Then he drinks some more.
Ernie asks what would make Daniel happy other than Carla. He replies riding in the mustang and getting a job. Then he tries to drink some more, but Ernie knocks the bottle out of his hand. This movie is so inspirational!
Carla's family gets ready to go to a ceremony for Jeff and Caroline but has to wait for Carla. Heather comes down in a dress suit she got from her girlfriend Michelle.
You know a great way to pass the time while you are waiting for someone who is late? Have an argument with your daughter about her homosexuality.
The mother says she supports gay rights but not her gay daughter. This movie forfeited its rights to advocate for any social issues before the opening credits.
Carla comes downstairs with both sides of her face made up.
At the club, Carla and Daniel dance. Carla tells Daniel that if he is brave, he can say whatever he wants.
What is with the messages in this movie?
Daniel interprets being brave as "getting drunk."
Carla's mom watches Daniel drinking glasses of wine. The groom makes a speech, which includes a reference to the bride's "hat hair" and starts dancing with Caroline
Then Daniel gets sufficiently drunk and brings a microphone to the stage to make a speech. This movie can't even do cringe comedy well.
Daniel tells everyone to sit down. He says he loves a girl too, and doesn't have hat hair. For some reason, all the people in the room laugh.
This movie would be a lot better if the romance was romantic.
This movie would be a lot better if the comedy was comedic.
Daniel announces that he is going to Florida and wants Carla to come with him. He also says that he and Carla had sex on Thanksgiving.
Everyone laughs. In what reality does this movie operate?
Daniel sings "Seventy-Six Trombones" from The Music Man.
Carla single-handedly salvages the movie
I was right. This is a remake of Carrie. 10/10, much better than the 2013 one.
3/4 of the way through the movie, so we have to have the romantic leads fight. Carla
Daniel approaches the car conveniently at the same time her mom goes to get her her dad. Carla comes out and reminds me that I could be watching a good movie
Carla says she doesn't ever want to see Daniel again. Roll credits.
Unfortunately, there is still a half hour left. Her parents blame it on the alcohol.
Don't drink and speak at a ceremony for your girlfriend's sister's upcoming marriage, kids.
In case you didn't get that Carla and Daniel are sad, the movie plays a sad pop song. Thanks for that.
Daniel gets on a train.
Cut to wedding rehearsal. This movie is so thrilling.
Carla is upset that Daniel isn't there. Heather says that this is the last family function she will attend without Michelle. Caroline understandably gets upset and says wedding are a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Caroline is very optimistic.
Daniel has some humorous exchanges with a man on the train.
Daniel: But my favorite actor is Dustin Hoffman. Have you ever seen the movie The Graduate?
Man: Is that the one where he's in a dress or is that the one with the camels?
Daniel tells the man the plot of The Graduate and relates it to his own life. The Other Sister thinks very highly of itself.
The Graduate gives Daniel the inspiration to go back to Carla. Unfortunately, he left his ticket on the train, so her can't exchange it and has to hitchhike back.
The song "Mrs Robinson" plays because The Graduate is all this movie has going for it.
At the sister's bachelorette's party, Carla says she doesn't want to play "pin the penis on the naked guy again" because Carla talking about sex is what this movie considers humorous
Kids, you should hitchhike on strange men's motorcycles.
Caroline and Jeff walk down the aisle. If Daniel burst in, I will give up on this movie.
Well, not really, as I gave up before the opening title..
Daniel tries to get in, but the security turns him away.
Marshmallows rain down on the wedding. Really. One of them lands in Carla's bouquet.
You know what's funny? Daniel climbing down the banners and falling.
The Dad delivers the only funny line in the movie
 |
| It should be "would" |
Daniel asks Carla to marry him in the middle of her sister's wedding. Everyone claps.
IN WHAT UNIVERSE DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE?
Carla's mom calms everyone down and the ceremony finishes. People dance at the reception. Jeff cuts the cake and Chepa pops out, killing everyone with a gun.
Actually, something less believable happens. Two women tell Elizabeth that the wedding was great.
Carla tells her mom that she has to plan another wedding. When her mom says Carla isn't ready, Carla storms out. Proving her point.
Carla and her mom face off in a field. Her mom says Carla isn't ready, and Carla stands up to her for the first time?
WOW, the first time in the movie the mom actually makes a good pint and this is when Carla snaps. She says she will marry Daniel and won't invite her mom to the wedding
The whole "running off into the rain" is kind of cliché. But it sure is a lot more effective than "running off into the sprinklers."
In one week, Carla plans the wedding and invites her parents and family. She says "We are getting married in between another wedding and a funeral. Another funny line
Her mom doesn't want to go.
Is it really this easy to plan a legally binding marriage?
Danny and Carla walk down the aisle.
In a confusing scene, Daniel and Carla insist they want to say their own vows, which they came up with last minute.
Carla Tate, I love you very much and I want to make you happy, and I take you for you wife forever and forever and forever.
Daniel...Daniel McMahn, I love you very much and I want to make you very happy...and I take you as my wife
See, the joke is that she just repeats "wife"
They kiss, but the pastor reminds them about the rings. They swap and are married.
Now, does this marriage count as legally binding?
The mom walks .She accepts Daniel. Then Heather introduces Michelle because might as well seize the opportunity. The mom accepts Michelle.
A subplot that runs thematically parallel to the main plot is a good idea. It would be better if said subplot had more than a few mentions in a two hour movie, and didn't resolve after the main plot.
I assumed that the homosexuality acceptance subplot had more importance than bus schedules, band practice, and sex "jokes". But who am I to judge the artistic merit of this movie?
A marching band plays Seventy-Six Trombones. The end.
And the moral of the story is "Watch The Graduate."
You never mentioned that this film was directed and co-written by the late great Garry Marshall, who had Beaches, Overboard, and Pretty Woman under his belt at the time, and before he did the two Princess Diaries films.
ReplyDelete