Special Needs is a Troma Films Mockumentary about a producer trying to make a reality show about disabled people. It can't be worse than The Undateables
The credits show the characters filming the reality show, which is a clever way of identifying the actor's names with the character. I guess.
The show inside the movie is called Handicaps.
The movie flashes back two months earlier. As it is a mockumentary, the film consists of interviews. This is good, because I can get the character's names
In case you don't get it, Warren Piece explains that he was not based on the Tolstoy novel. Peanuts did this joke way better.
Philis knew him Warren back when he was called Juan Coco. Philis is obsessed with getting teeth capped. That is her quirk.
A Spanish women without a convenient name subtitle says she met Warren on a tour bus. She moved to the front because nobody "wants to sit by the white devil" Social commentary?
A magazine informs us that Warren Piece's latest series "dead on Wendnesday" failed and he left America.. I don't mind this exposition, as it is a mockumentary
The Spanish woman is his wife. She says that they never made it past the border, and then corrects herself with "finished the tour". Why do I choose movies about current events
Warren goes on a spiel about deli cats, who live in delis and catch mice. This is going to be a "random=humor" movie, isn't it?
Laura Wilcox is a stereotypical casting director. Get used to that. She rips up all the headshots because she never "the next Julia Roberts" This 2005 mockumentary is relevant
David Smith is a reality show judge. He was in the military and then worked in a penitentiary. Remember what I said about getting used to stereotypes?
Warren, Laura, and David founded CNT network. Their first idea for a show was called Prospectors. Contestants would go underground and prospect for gold.
Josh Kenny put a titanium rod onto the mining helmet with a wireless camera. Then he put a lead mesh to balance it out.
The second show was about surviving a pack of red wolfs in Arizona. there are no red wolves in arizona. Because they are extinct. That's the joke.
Warren talks about how he wants to be rivited when watching TV. Meta.
Warren calls a phone conference to pitch his new reality show idea. He starts really strong with talking about how awful reality TV is. Then he sings "where do we go from here?"
10/10 for having an Evita reference
0/10 for the "gay people like musical theater" stereotype
Warren comes into office in a wheelchair.
Okay, the show is clearly about people with disabilities, yet the wheelchair is a hospital wheelchair.
Warren starts the pitch: "The contestants are all deformed, deranged, psychotic, retarded, paraplegic, quadriplegic, wheelchair-ridden"
If you get offended by this movie, you give it strength. So don't.
Way to erase invisible disabilities.
Warren goes on to explain that the contestants will battle it out under three judges. So this is just bad Hunger Games fan-fiction. (But I repeat myself)
The show is called "Handicaps"
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Cue "comedic" awkward silence.
Richie Goldman approves- claiming that people at home feel sorry for themselves and have to project it onto a TV show. So this mockumentary just got amazing.
Laura and Richie channel the America dream telling people with disabilities to pull themselves up by their bootstraps
Laura decides to hire Natalie, an admirer of hers, because the world needs "more positive females role models, like Nancy Regan, Margaret Thatcher, Janet Reno..."
This 2005 mockumentary is relevant.
Then Laura gets angry that Natalie put skim milk in her coffee.
Ken Duchamp is the Line Producer- which means getting people coffee. The movie repeats this joke several times.
Natalie Winters, the same Natalie who put skim milk in the coffee, is the production assistant. This means cleaning the kitchen. She says she is going to have to sleep with some of the staff to get noticed.
This mockumentary isn't so much satire on disabilities as it is people complaining about working in a tv studio
Now Warren sits with CNT and goes through the script.
Richie Goldman, the Chief Broadcasting Executive, objects to the title Handicaps as not PC. He's the kind of guy who thinks that SJWs will have re-written the dictionary by the time he finishes the meeting.
David Smith claims that "handicaps" will alienate veterans. Warren fires back that veterans are not their target audience. Gates are successfully kept.
Cue Brainstorming:
- Ready, Willing, and Disabled
- Down with the Down's
- Special People
Warren says that unless they come up with something brilliant in the next 30 seconds, the title will be Handicapped. David suggests "Freak it out" So the title will be Handicaps.
Here is a quick graph demonstrating the relationship between "offensive material" and "offense taken"
At some point, the offensive material becomes so ridiculous it ceases to be offensive. That's this mockumentary
According to the time stamps, it took them an hour to decide on the title.
Warren calls Josh to pick up some magic markers and lattes. He passes it off to Natalie. Social commentary.
She gets revenge by putting ExLax in it. Laura is okay with it because it isn't skim milk.
Then they go to Coney Island to see the freak show for inspiration. Remember, if you get offended by this movie, the movie wins.
Natalie tells Josh about the ExLax, which he claims is the "most brilliant thing he has ever heard." That's because he is in a Troma movie.
Natalie and Josh drink look at the notes on the easel about Handicaps.
Josh sums up
Josh gets an idea to attach a camera on the tops of wheelchairs so that they wouldn't need a camera man following them around.
First of all, way to assume that all the participants would use wheelchairs. Secondly, that would make the entire show in first-person POV.
But Natalie come up with "Handicam". As long as it has a clever name. Which is the generic form of the brand name HandyCam.
Natalie and Josh brainstorm about the competition. So the two production assistants, one of whom just fetches coffee, do all the work. This is actually a critique of capitalism, isn't it?
The idea is that each handicap...
Yes, this show refers to contestants as "handicaps". I am going to do the same, because making the terms of this show PC is giving in to it.
The idea is that each handicap will have a special talent and celebrity judges and audiences will call in their opinions. When did this become amazing?
Josh asks Natalie to go out for a beer. So this mockumentary gives more useful relationship advice than The Undateables.
When the producers returns to CNT, they find the room vandalized and illicit substances. So David discipline Natalie, Josh, and Ken. The joke is that Ken was at Coney Island.
Natalie confesses, but David suspends their pay and demands that the three empty their bags.
Josh claims that that violates every labor law.
Richi and Laura bring the notes about the show to Wendy, the secretary, and ask her to type this up. This is about capitalism and surplus.
At Richie's Loft, Richie, Laura, David, and Warren discuss the notes that they haben't read yet. As with the first meeting, they get stuck right away.
Warren asks where the contestants will live in. He rejects California because "There are no freaks in California". He decides on a Victorian house with spiral staircases and taxidermy. He will call it: Handiland.
Richie comes up with the most obvious objection- the money. Warren retorts with the fact that they won't have to pay the contestants.
The next day, Rita, who doesn't have a subtitle, says she approves the proposal. I think she is the financier.
Her only problem is the two million dollar house.
The next step is casting. Ken puts out ads in newspapers and magazines. He claims that the usual avenues won't work because there is not a lot of demand for actors with disabilities.
Troma is raising actual issues.
Josh worries that one will have "some blind person checking out the casting online or some retard looking at the trade papers"
Crude language aside, this is actually a good point about accessibility.
Unfortunately, they didn't get any contestants with "deformities". Josh blames it on modern medicine.
At the next meeting, Laura complains that they need some "profoundly deranged people" Josh wants HDP=Happy Deformed People.
Josh brings up the issue of sociopaths killing other contestants in their sleep. Laura suggest putting risk of death in the contracts, but Josh vetoes it.
Laura asks what happens if the schizophrenics kill themselves. That's the punchline
Going over the applications, Natalie asks whether alcoholics count as disabilities.
I got it. This entire mockumentary is a satire on insurance companies. How topical.
The first interview is with Randy Scanzillo. His brother, Andy, has to lay in bed all the time. He is extremely paranoid.
Phillis Blackman claims that Randy is such a non-entity that he "couldn't get arrested in NYC." This is topical.
Randy decided to apply even though he doesn't have a physical handicap. The punchline to this segment is that he isn't at an interview- he is talking to his brother
The next applicant is Bob Bennet, a 6.5 man with szchophrenia and multiple personalities. Natalie decides that he is not telling the truth about his handicapped. Josh says that there is a mandatory psych and IQ test to weed out the "fakers." Ken decides to call him in because he is "delicious"
This is such great commentary on insurance companies.
Phyllis complains that Randy sold himself out too soon. Bob first job was in a parody of the Teletubbies.
Randy came across the ad for Handicaps. Cindy, his girlfriend, suggested that he pretended to be disabled so that he could be in the show.
Natalie comes across an application from a rapper with CP named Killer P.
Ken decides to call because they need at least one black.
Damn Liberals, always ignoring the "best applicant for the job" with "diversity"
Killer P decides to audition to make some money.
Killer P: Is the show exploitative? What in America isn't?
See, this mockumentary is brilliant because it is using the fake reality show to comment on itself.
Killer P then explains his plan to write a detailed guide on how to have sex with girls with different disabilities. It's called "Crips and Tits".
That is one way to make The Undateables more interesting
The casting call takes place in a hotel in Chinatown. Ken splits the group into three categories: Mental, Crippled, and Deformed.
He complains that he yelled at one person for ten minutes before realizing that he was deaf.
Bob Bennet did a lot of research on schizophrenic- not shaving and wearing glasses
Killer P. gets angry that they are waiting so long. Definitely a healthcare allegory.
Sunday Says that she let people ride in her wheelchair for money to travel to Chinatown
At the exam room, Josh hands out a psych and IQ test, but a man with Tourettes keeps interrupting with verbal tics. Later, Josh admits to wanting to punch the man.
Someone gets a seizure in the waiting room. Comedy?
David goes into the waiting room and gives an inspirational speech to the people still waiting to be called. it boils down to this:
"We know you are hungry, but you have to be hungry in this business. When you walk into the room, we will judge you all the same You have it pretty good, because I have two kids I have to put through medical school."
Warren starts the auditions. He tells the participants not to worry, as it is only one of the few chances they will have to make something of themselves
When a movie is this good, I can't really add much to make it funnier.
Sunday sings two lines of "This Little Yellow Square" and then leaves when David shakes his head.
The other auditions are similar.
I blame Ken for not putting down "talent" as a requirement in the recruitment ad.
Bob Bennet comes in for his audition. Warren crushes on him.
Bob does a more convincing performance of multiple personalities than James Macavoy,
Laura: I don't care how many personalities you have, none of the are working for me right now.
Warren asks Bob to take off his shirt.
Killer P is the last audition. We know he will make it, because he is the "cool" one and also the last one. His friend is named Joe.
Josh says"What's up, dog?" to Joe, who snaps back not to call him dog. This impresses Laura.
He raps. Laura says the only thing that he has going for him is his attitude. Then the following classic dialogue happens:
Josh: By any chance, were you injured as a result of gang-related violence
Killer P: I got CP, bitch.
Warren doesn't think he is "street" enough.
This leads to one of the greatest lines in cinematic history.
Rita: You were attacked by a gun-toting paraplegic and thrown out of the sleazist hotel in Chinatown?
Remember the magazine at the beginning of the movie that mentioned the failed show "Dead on Wednesday"? Here we get an explanation. This is known as "Chekov's Gun"
Rita reminds them of the failure of "Dead on Wednesday," in which they tell a perfectly healthy man that he will die on Wednesday and then follow him around and tell him it was a joke on Wednesday.
She is upset because one contestant died from stress on Monday and they had to play seven hours of funeral footage.
One could say the idea was dead on arrival.
Ken says that they narrowed the contestants to 14 contestants because most of them were fakes.
Insurance company allegory.
Laura goes to a bar to get away from the studio. A guy hits on her. He is drunk. Also, his legs were injured in a ski accident. They go back to Laura's apartment and have sex.
I was worried we would go through the entire movie without a pointless sex scene.
Laura should read "Crips and Tits"
Troma studios portrayed people with disabilities having sex.
Warren burns a chakra stick to bring positive energy, because people with disabilities "have really negative. Uh, cultural appropriation?
At callbacks, Laura is late because she is still sleeping. Warren burns the chakra stick to get rid of negative energy
After an hour, they decide to start auditions without the casting director. Here is a sample of the classic dialogue:
Richie: He just looks...short.
Candidate: I'm a fucking dwarf, shithead
Warren: Your attitude sucks, but you look like Jack Nicholson
Warren tells the candidate to "think taller."
Okay, this mockumentary gets the whole "cringe comedy" absolutely perfect. Richie is the audience surrogate and his reaction to everything completes the jokes.
But the best part is Laura entering right when Warren and the candidate are doing a ventriloquist routine.
Let's look at that chart again:
Laura leaves, claiming it is disgusting.
Warren confronts her and asks why she is acting that way. Laura confesses that she had sex with a paraplegic.
The music and tone is perfect.
Warren convinces Laura to cast the show in a hilariously heart-warming scene.
Randy brings in a cassette to dance to. They don't have a cassette player.
All of the contestants are dancers
Contestant: I'm one of those, what you would call a little person.
Warren: You don't look short to me.
Contestant: I appreciate that.
Warren: That's not a compliment.
Contestant: I have a tendency to say things that offend people without my control.
Josh: So does Laura.
Warren: You're not a midget, but you sure are short on talent.
Big D. is blind. This is a problem for the staff is that he doesn't have a cane or dog, so he isn't marketable.
Natalie comes in with Jon Ficatta. Jon doesn't respond to any of the judges' questions.
Natalie: He can't hear you. He's deaf.
Warren: Well he doesn't look deaf.
Natalie and Jon repeat the same scene over and over. It only works when they mimic sex. So it's a good portrayal of TV.
Ken announces that there are no more contestants. it is time to decide.
This is probably my favorite and most offensive scene in the mockumentary
One of the running gags in this mockumentary is that one character will say something offensive, then you think another character will call them out on it, but they are really correcting something else. Like this
Josh: We have two midget, so it's an easier elimination
Laura: Correction: We have one dwarf, and one midget
Warren points out that Big D. is blind and John Foccata's deaf. The logical conclusion is that they should have a gay love affair in episode three.
This is about fanfiction.
Josh vetos the idea unless they are "roommates"
Warren wants to hire Bob to "Keep the housewives interested"
Josh goes through the iq tests and psych evals and diagnoses everyone. This is a satire on self-diagnosis.
Laura wants Randy on the show. Warren doesn't. The compromise is that he can be on the show, but he gets eliminated in the first episode.
Let's look at that graph again.
The callbacks happen. Ken hits on Killer P.
Warren announces that the house got built express from China. Josh asks whether is is OSHA compliant.
The problem with this mockumentary is that I don't know whether things are mistakes or jokes. I don't know whether they meant OSHA or the ADA.
Apparently, Warren ordered 15 spiral staircases for this house. Josh uses this to hand Rita two binders of transgressions in order to get Warren fired.
Rita points out that Josh hasn't made the company money and kicks him off the project. Rita takes Josh's role.
Cut to two weeks later for the photo shoot. This is the same scene as the beginning.
In a clever commentary, the mockumentary interviews all the able-bodied producers but leaves the contestants in the background. I don't know if that was intentional, but because I like this film, I will pretend that it is.
Josh and Natalie describe a spin-off: Terminal House. Eight terminally ill people in the same house.
Warren Piece concludes with "Anyone who thinks reality TV is dead should die!"
This is actually a great mockumentary with social commentary. I can't wait to watch the other Troma films and find the social commentary in:
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| Cannibal! The Musical |
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| Surf Nazis Must Die |
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| Poultrygeist:Night of the Chicken Dead |
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