I haven't mentioned this before, but the intro changes each time, showing random clips from the previous episode and the current episode.
The frst person is Sam, who is 27 and has Down Syndrome. He has never been on a date or kissed a girl.
He draws his ideal girlfriend
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| She seems really sketchy |
His dad, Malcolm, teaches him to play saxophone. His mom died and now his dad has to teach him the "complex world of boy-meets-girl" Given that Sam is on a show called The Undateables, and Malcolm has also agreed to be on camera, I don't think he is doing a great job.
Sam has two friends. Andrew and Paul, who both have learning disabilities. We see their totally spontaneous and not scripted conversation,
Sam says girls only want one thing- sex. Andrew or Paul (don't know who is who yet) agree and say "and money." (See Fig. 1)
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| Fig 1 |
We are less than five minutes into this episode of Undateables, so it's time to change characters. Who is the target audience?
Hayden was born with Crouzon syndrome, which is a disfigurement of the skull. He has a twin brother, Ashley, without Crouzon Syndrome. Ashley has had lots of girlfriends.
I would love to see the behind-the-scenes of selecting applications for The Undateables.
Sam goes to Stars in the Sky, the learning disability dating service. Stars in the Sky differentiates itself from other dating sites in an...interesting way. It doesn't use photographs of clients. Lesson: Different doesn't always mean good.
I'm not in favor of objectification, but physical appearance is kind of important in dating. That may be shallow, but it is also the truth.
At the interviewing process, the agency asks about his interests. Instead of letting Sam say it, the narrator tells us that Sam is an actor who has appeared on television. Don't tell us that your reality show subject is an actor- it's self-evident.
20 year old Kali has only had one boyfriend- and that only lasted two months. But in teenage dating time, two months is like 61 days.
Kali has William's Syndrome, a genetic condition that gives her a distinct appearance and a learning disability. I have to give The Undateables credit for teaching me about different disabilities.
Back to Hayden. I wonder how long these episodes would be if you cut out every time they remind you of the person's situation . A woman from Searchmate comes to help him. She says if women "get over his condition and see him as a person," he would make someone very happy. Yikes.
Sam has a blind date tomorrow, so he asks his father for some advice. I have some advice for The Undateables: These "spontaneous conversations" don't work when you have cameras shooting all around them. If you must have them, maybe just have one person shooting with a hand-held camera. Then I could at least pretend to suspend my disbelief
Hayden has never had a girlfriend, but his twin brother, Ashley, has had plenty. Thanks for the reminder. Ashley tells him that girls just care about what you look like inside. I thought girls just cared about sex? Or was it money? The Undateables has really inconsistent misogyny. How am I supposed to internalize this sexism if it can't keep the sexism consistent within one episode?
Carly is getting ready for a party, and hopes to catch the attention of a suitor. Given that a dating show is filming her, I think she will.
She meets someone named Jimmy. The narrator said that despite the height difference, Carly thinks they are a great match. For a show about how physical differences doesn't stop people from finding love, The Undateables sure likes to point how physical differences can stop people from finding love.
Sam gets ready for his blind date. At the London Zoo. Which leads to the funniest line in the show so far:
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| All he's been told is to meet her by the penguins. |
I hope sometime in a future episode, one of the subjects will be blind and they make a "blind blind date" joke. Maybe I should apply to be a writer on this show.
His date is Jolene, who also has a learning disability. She has a chaperone. Ugh. Luckily, the chaperone leaves.
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| Jolene doesn't get a text introduction, |
Hayden goes on a date with Charlotte on a fairground. The last time this happened, they got tarot cards read.
Hayden's condition makes him partially deaf. could have told us earlier. This leads to an awkward scene.
At the zoo, Sam forgot to bring money, so Jolene has to pay. The narrator tells us that Sam "might have to work on his gentlemanly conduct."
This is known as pay-triarchal norms.
They go on a carousel. Sam is going to commit a burglary to pay for their unborn child, then die and have to redeem himself in purgatory, right?
The narrator says Sam's lack of experience shows because he let Jolene leave without asking if he can see her again. Forgot to put that in the script?
Hayden and Charlotte are at quiet pub. Charlotte says "he's different and unique, and I think that's what makes him so nice." That's a useful heuristic. "Different and unique" means "nice".
Sam decides to call Jolene for another date. The next day. She acts surprised when she learns who called. This doesn't work with a reality TV show.
Sam wants to text Jolene asking whether they are lovers. His father tells him to text her about what type of food she wants. He says he "doesn't like the word 'sex'".
I watched an 11-minute episode of Care Bears and didn't cringe once. The sex line made me cringe. I'm regretting my promise to complete the series.
Carly is meeting Jimmy for lunch. Lydia is chaperoning. The chaperone is the creepiest thing about this show for me, which is strange because obviously they have an entire crew there.
They tell each other what their interests are. Are all dating shows this boring?
Sam waits for Jolene at a cafe. The narrator says that, if he goes through with it, it will be the first time he has asked someone to be his girlfriend.
Jimmy wants to move things "to the next level." So they walk up the stairs to the second floor of the restaurant.
(They don't actually do that)
They hug and Carly leaves
The narrator tells us that Sam is about to ask Jolene to be his girlfriend. Way to spoil it. They look in a window
Is the Where's Wally? brand struggling so much that they need product placement on The Undateables?
Sam asks Jolene if she would like to be his girlfriend. She says "No, I haven't found Wally yet."
She actually says "yes." What reality does this take place in? So Sam has a happy ending.
Hayden has decided not to see Charlotte again. So Hayden has a happy ending
Kali has decided not to see Jimmy again. So Kali has a happy ending.
The end
This episode was bad. But I think I've identified a fundamental, structural problem with the show. The show is called The Undateables, but all the people go on dates. So they aren't undateable. The entire show is built on a false premise.
Let's look at the tally.
Three bad episodes in a row is kind of discouraging, but sometimes great shows have clumps of bad episodes. Looking forward to the next episode.
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