This is the entry where I have to stop pretending that this blog has any social commentary value...
Children and teenagers with disabilities are 3 to 4 times more likely to be bullied than children without disabilities.
I don't have a study to back that up, but if you try to challenge that statistic, I can accuse you of ableism and minimizing the effects of bullying.
How do we solve this epidemic of bullying?
One could argue that the best way to reduce bullying of children and teenagers with disabilities is to address the structural imbalances in education, wealth, and social interactions that lead to systemic oppression.
Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! argues that we should just put on an Easter Bunny mask, a variety of tools, and kill the oppressor.
I'm glad I'm covering movies that discuss real-world problems. I'm also glad that there is a movie in this genre that deals with disability.
Easter Bunny slasher is basically a genre now.
So, not a minute into this movie and a man in an Easter Bunny man robs a store. He begins to leave, but turns back and shoves the gun into the cashiers face. Rude. He did everything the Easter Bunny says.
The Easter Bunny forces the man to put the gun in his mouth. Why was this toned down in Salem's Lot but not here? Blood splatters everywhere and titles scene.
Sometimes there is a POV shout out of the mask.
There is clever juxtaposition of the TAEM HSERF sign and the dead body. It is implying that the dead body is also taem hserf.
The killer picks up a chocolate bunny and some wine.
On Easter Eve.....
A boy named Nicholas is dying eggs with his mother. He is a tormented child with an intellectual disability.
I am not saying that his performance is better than Cuba Gooding Jr in Radio, but Radio didn't include a killer Easter Bunny.
Nicholas wants the Easter Bunny to see the eggs. Nicholas' mom is going to date Mr. Remington.
Mr Remington comes in the Easter Bunny mask and Nicholas opens the door. Three minutes into the movie and already we have two clever moments!
Nicholas is excited that the Easter Bunny has come until he removes his mask. But a chocolate bunny (which was also set up) makes him happy again.
Nicholas' mom apologizes for not telling Mr Remington that her son is "special". (her word)
Mr. Remington never told Nicholas' mom that he robbed and killed a cashier, so fair's fair.
Nicholas' mom says that she thinks the mask looks sexy. I can't even make a snide remark about that one.
Nicholas complains to Mr Remington that the chocolate bunny has blood on it. I don't think you should complain about a gift.
Mr Remington explains the blood with "the easter bunny took it away from a very naughty boy." So this is basically a Peanuts holiday special with more killings. In the story, the boy ripped off the Easter bunny's ears. Nicholas runs away crying and Mr Remington bites into the chocolate bunny's ears. Parallel.
Nicholas cries that Mr. Remington said that the Easter Bunny got hurt. His mom says that the Easter Bunny can never get hurt. Is that part of the mythology?
Telling a story about the hurt Easter Bunny wasn't a deal breaker, so his mother tells Nicholas to try to get along with Mr. Remington.
Nicholas gets upset in a scene with far too serious music for Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!. Then he brings the garbage out and wishes that the Easter Bunny would hurt bad people.
Right on cue, a homeless man comes by and asks if he has any spare cans or bottles.
The homeless man says he is going to give the Easter Bunny to a good little boy. He is in a cage. This is Easter Eve. How is the Easter Bunny going to deliver all the eggs?
I have to give credit to Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! for misdirecting. I thought the killer would be the guy in the bunny mask who killed the cashier before the opening credits.
Nicholas says that this will be the greatest Easter ever. It's funny because people will die.
The homeless guy asks who owns the car. Nicholas says it is his mother's jerk boyfriend. He adds that said boyfriend told him that a boy hurt the Easter Bunny. The homeless man says the Easter Bunny wouldn't let that happen.
This turns into E.T. as the boy decides to hide the Easter Bunny. Again, how is the Easter Bunny going to deliver all the eggs in time?
Cut to the Easter Bunny mask on backwards. Mr. Remington and Nicholas' mother are making out. This is the most horrifying image in the movie so far.
Nicholas wishes that Mr. Remington "never comes here again." It's funny because Mr. Remington is going to die.
Nicholas's mom comes in and asks if he saw what she and Mr. Remington were doing.
Nicholas calls his mom a slut because she and Mr. Remington were fucking. His mom is most shocked that her 16 year old son knows these words.
Nicholas says that dad would come back and beat her. His mom is more Jorge.
In the oddest moment of the movie so far (which is saying a lot) two people come out from behind the curtain and mumble. I think they are supposed to represent Nicholas' thoughts. This movie is confusing.
Nicholas apologizes to his bunny and says he is waiting for his dad to come back. He also says that he is the best Easter Bunny in the world. So there are multiple Easter Bunnies?
Mindy (Nicholas' mother) talks to Remington about Nicholas waiting for his father to return home. She reveals that he died on Easter ten years ago.
Look, I have nothing against Jesus allegories in Easter movies. I just don't think it is appropriate in a movie titled Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!
Mr Remington asks how retarded Nicholas is. Because he isn't unlikable enough.
Mindy says that Nicholas was born with Magnetic Resonance Cholangiopancreatography (MRCP)
I mean Mental Retardation Cerebral Palsy. (MRCP)
Google gave me the cholangiophancreatography first. And Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! taught me a term about my own disability. It's an outdated term, but still.
Mr Remington says that he and Mindy should start living together. I thought this was about a killer Easter Bunny?
Mr Remington is sleeping when he hears a noise. He gets up and knocks over the wine. In case you don't get that the symbolism, the camera lingers on the spill.
See, Nicholas's father died on Easter and Nicholas believes he will come back. Who else died on Easter and is supposed to come back? Jesus. And wine is symbolic of Jesus's blood, which spilled on Easter.
Either that or it is a Chekov's gun.
Mr Remington walks down the hall with disproportionately suspenseful music for Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!
He opens the door to Nicholas's room and think he is masturbating under a blanket. But of course, it is the bunny.
Bunny is symbolic of the repressed sexuality of people with disabilities. Or it isn't,
Mr remington blackmails Nicholas into not telling Mindy anything bad about him. Otherwise he will kill the rabbit. I think he is the villain.
See, it was Easter eve. Then they fell asleep. The next day it is Easter. Thanks, subtitle.
An appropriately titled FAKE NEWS station reports on the opening scene
Nicholas is eating cereal and watching the FAKE NEWS. Mr. Remington tells him to watch something educational and shuts off the TV.
In any other movie, this would be funny commentary. But not in Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!
The scene in which the two people come out from behind the curtain? They are the hired help. And Mexican stereotypes. Mindy says she doesn't want them cursing around her son.
Mr. Remington helps. He mocks them in Spanish, and then fires them. He tells them to"go back to Mexico where they belong"
I can't make two Trump jokes so close together.
Speaking of "jokes":
Mindy: How did you learn Spanish?
Mr. Remington: Baby, in L.A., English is a second language.
This Easter Bunny slasher is culturally relevant.
Mindy asks Mr. Remington to look after Nicholas because she has to work double-shift at a hospital.
I like Chekovtm drills as well.
Nicholas doesn't take the news well. He tries to say that he "doesn't give a crap about sick people".
Mindy slaps him and asks "What Would Jesus Do."
Answer: Go to the hospital, heal all the sick people.
Mr. Remington offers to throw Nicholas an Easter party, but Nicholas claims that the Easter Bunny doesn't like Mr. Remington and runs away.
Mr. Remington offers to take care of Nicholas and ominously asks when Mindy will be back. She replies "not until 5 AM."
After Mindy leaves, Mr. Remington calls someone. He asks whether it is "Ray". Ray replies "No, it's Judy Garland."
Easter Bunny Kill! Kill! is culturally relevant
The twist here is that Mr. Remington is a criminal and part of a gang. The subtle clue at the beginning was when he robbed a clerk at gunpoint.
Ray asks if he can come over and "play" with Nicholas. This Easter Bunny slasher went in a direction I didn't want it to go.
Get it? Ironic juxtaposition
Mr. Remington invites the gang members over to the "Easter Party"
Nicholas talks to the Easter Bunny about how much he hates Mr. Remington.
Nicholas shows the Easter bunny his dad's pictures and plays his dad's favorite song.
This song somehow awakens the Easter Bunny? Like how the radio awakened the blind dead?
Mr Remington yells at Nicholas to come out. Nicholas tells the bunny not to go out.
Mr. Remington threatens to perform questionable acts on the rabbit unless he goes out. Nicholas does so.
The following 2 minutes and 46 seconds of physical and emotional abuse is kind of hard to describe and keep with the tone of the blog. This is what Mr Remington ends up saying:
1. I like Mindy and the place, but not you
2. Why does she treat you like a two year old?
3. Shut up, do what I say, and don't tell your father
4. Your daddy is dead
5. I'm going to throw you an Easter Party
Okay, so Mr. Remington is going to invite some people over to abuse Nicholas. Did we need over a third of this Easter Bunny Slasher developing his character?
Ray comes over. He uses two forearm crutches. You can't see the brand name, but I am almost positive they are Walk Easy crutches.
I don't know why Walk Easy wouldn't want the brand name visible when a pedophile gang member in an Easter Bunny slasher film uses their products.
Mr. Remington sings about the party. The lyrics are pretty impressive.
Hookers
Hookers and Cocaine
Hookers
Hookers
I'll be feeling no pain
Hookers
Hookers
Oh yeah
Hookers
Hookers and Cocaine
Hookers
This is an awful lamp placement.
Nicholas listens as Mr. Remington and Ray talk. Their transparent faces overlay the scene in a far too artistic shot for Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!
In the next scene, Ray says what he is planning to do to Nicholas and I will skip describing it. Remington leaves to get some girls.
Ray calls out for Nicholas and walks to his room. Nichoas pets the bunny. I have a feeing that the movie thinks that this situation is way more suspenseful than it actually is. Ray is coughing
As ray enters the room, the record starts playing. you see the bunny run under the bed. Ray looks under the bed and sees a man in a bunny mask.
It's obviously Nicholas, right? They were trying to imply that the bunny turned into the man in the bunny mask, but it is Nicholas. Please don't make that the twist. I'll just refer to the killers as "the masked bunny"
The masked bunny sticks a knife into Ray. Then he gets out from under the bed, grabs Chekov's drill, and lobotomizes Ray.
Yay! First kill from bunny and it is only halfway through the movie.
The masked bunny drills through Ray and into the floor. You shouldn't do that- it will damage the floor.
Ray picks up some hookers. Their names are Brooke and Candy. Of course they are.
Ray tells them his name. Brooke cleverly replies "Like that old TV show"
Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! is culturally relevant.
It took half the movie for the first bunny kill. So the next logical thing is for the girls to take off their tops. This is called narrative progression.
Ray licks coke off of Candy's breast while Brooke reaches over and takes the wheel. They don't crash.
Don't lick coke off a prostitute's breast and drive, kids.
The two hired helps didn't go back to Mexico, as they go back to Nicholas's house.
Jorge talks to a random guy outside Nicholas's house. There is a lot of relevant social commentary about the value of Mexican immigrants adapting English
Jorge: How come you don't speak Spanish?
Guy: My parents wanted me to be American
Jorge: That's kind of stupid.
Guy: You know, speaking Spanish in America, that's stupid.
Jorge and the other guy knock on the door. Jorge claims he left his tools. It's funny because one of the tools just killed someone.
Mr.Remington complains that he is stressed and is looking forward to "relaxing inside" of the prostitutes. No comments.
Candy says she doesn't kiss, but Brook does. This time, Candy reaches over and saves the car from crashing.
Don't kiss and drive, kids.
Candy doesn't kiss, but she does perform oral sex in vehicles. I've seen this part before- she's only doing it to convince Mr. Remington to set up the bucket of pig's blood at the prom.
The movie becomes a mix of split-second cuts at dutch angles with poor lighting because that's the only way to make sexual activity in a car look exciting and not painfully inefficient. At some point, Candy's shirt comes off.
Don't edit and drive, kids.
(My original joke was "Don't strip and drive, kids.")
Tips for Filming Sex Scene in Cars:
1. Don't
Jorge and the other guy give up on the door and try the window. Then the other guy accidentally backs up into the door and opens it.
Jorge's accent is incredibly racist
Jorge. decides to use the bathroom. In a slasher film. Hasn't he seen Psycho?
The other guy walks around in the shadows with a menacing score too serious for Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! He finds the pet bunny.
So they aren't going for the "magic bunny turned into the slasher" red herring. Good. I'm glad Easter Bunny Kill! Kill! has some respect for its audience.
He calls the bunny a rabbit. I believe that this is why the slasher kills him with a hammer.
Meanwhile, Jorge listens to music with headphones. He only hears when the other guy is almost dead.
The most suspenseful shot in the movie so far. Jorge noticing there is not enough toilet paper. This is the contrived excuse the movie uses to explain why Jorge can't help.
Jorge grabs some prescription bottles from the medicine cabinet. To emphasize that this is immoral,the movie shows a close-up of a picture of Jesus.
Or it is to connect it Easter. Can't tell.
30 minutes left and only two Easter Bunny kills.
Jorge finds a toolbox with some obvious weapons in it. The Easter bunny passes behind him. The female hired help calls Jorge telling him to hurry up.
Remember the homeless guy who gave Nicholas the Easter Bunny? I didn't. but he comes and asks the female hired help for some change.
Jorge takes the tool box,and walks, shining a flashlight around until he sees the body of the other guy.
I was all for this movie being about Nicholas taking revenge on Mr. Remington and the child molester, but now he is just killing random people!
The Easter Bunny comes at Jorge with a buzz saw. As with the amazing car sex scene, quick cutting and dutch angles make it difficult to discern what is actually happening.
The point is, the Easter Bunny kills Jorge..
Immediately after this scene, upbeat music plays. Tonal shift! Mr Remington and the hookers pull up into the driveway.When they enter the house, Mr. Remington calls out to Nicholas and Ray ,asking why they turned off all the lights. Because that's the top priority.
Mr Remington tells the hookers about Nicholas and Ray.
Candy...uh...expresses her disdain for engaging in sexual activity with people with developmental disabilities. In more vulgar terms.
Brooke asks to use the bathroom. Bad idea.She also says the whole "kid with a developmental disability that they aren't allowed to see" is giving her bad vibes. Her exact words are "He has a retard chained up somewhere"
That would be a great idea for a horror movie!
Brooke goes to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Candy
The Easter Bunny opens the bathroom door and grabs Brooke. Cut before you can see anything.
I wish the kills in this movie were more creative.
I lied about Candy. It was the other guy (who came in with Jorge) who choked her.
Mr Remington opens the door to find said guy choking her. He grabs and kills him with a flash light .
Kill Count
Mr Remington: 2
Easter Bunny: 3
Candy asks who the guy was and Mr Remington snaps. "I don't know!" I'm glad I'm not the only one having trouble with character names.
Turns out Brooke is still alive.
Kill Count
Mr. Remington: 2
Easter Bunny: 3 2
Candy tries to call the police, but Mr. Remington says no. I think the whole "getting someone to molest his underage potential step-son" thing discourages him.Also, the dead guy
The bunny runs by and breaks some glass. The camera lingers on the shards.
Mr Remington leaves, letting the Easter Bunny jump through the door and jam the stick end of a broom down Candy's throat.
One could say that she is now Sore Throat Candy.
I just noticed that the Easter Bunny is wearing white gloves. Maybe if they shows that the hands were black, it would give away that Nicholas is the killer.
1. Are they even trying to keep that a twist?
2. That's not racist, it's logical
The Easter Bunny picks up a shard of glass because the lingering shot wasn't obvious enough
Kids, don't pick up shards of glass, even if you are wearing gloves. Also, don't kill people.
Mr. Remington give Brooke a glass of water. Nice contrast between the broom and the water.I think.
Mr Remington goes to Nicholas' room and tries to get him to come out using the following proposal: "open this door and I won't hurt you"
When this doesn't work, he decides to break it down in one of the most iconic scenes in any horror movie.
Wait, wrong movie.
Brooke decides that the best course of action is to pet the rabbit.
This isn't the best course of action, because the rabbit scratches her. Then Nicholas gags her with a sheet of plastic and stabs her with the glass. The music is inappropriately upbeat.
Mr. Remington breaks down the door and finds Rays body. He decides that it is "time to go girls."
In a neat reversal of a previous shot, Mr Remington now sees Nicholas with the bunny mask on backwards.
He grabs the bunny's shoulders, spins him around and...
IT'S HIS MOTHER.
Wait, I mean...
10/10 for actually having a good twist in an Easter Bunny slasher. This also answers the question of why the Easter Bunny killed Jorge.
0/10 for disempowering people with disabilities. People with CP can go on their OWN murderous rampages of revenge.
Nicholas' mother slashes Mr. Remington's throat. She tells him "The monsters we see walk among us show their true faces"
This could be really poetic if Mr. Remington didn't have so many red flags.
She calls for Nicholas to come down and see how much she loves him. Nicholas excitedly watches Mr. Remington bleed to death and the dialogue exchange to which the entire movie has been building up
Nicholas' Mom: Nicholas, what have I taught you?
Nicholas: What would Jesus do?
What that worth the entire movie?
Nicholas gets bored of the gushing blood and asks about the white rabbit. His mom says he is under the sofa
In another twist, we learn that Nicholas' first father was also abusive, so his mother killed him. She tells Mr. Remington that she kills people who show "just one ounce of malice towards my son"
She also says that she hid and heard everything Mr. Remington said to Nicholas.
Flashback to his father!
Mindy say that Mr. Remington was worse than Nicholas' father because at least Nicholas' father didn't lie.
I'm no expert, but I don't think Mr Remington can stay alive long enough to hear Mindy with his throat slashed. We do get this hilarious dying line.
Mindy: You and your evil friends will be judged by a higher power
Mr. Remington: If that's true,I'm fucked.
Nicholas names the white rabbit "Easter Bunny" Mindy asks him to clean up the bodies. Nicholas asks whether he HAS to. That's not very polite.
The doorbell rings. One final twist. I had no idea Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! was so complex
Turns out the homeless man is Nicholas' father (Donald). Mindy thought she had killed him..
I've been resisting making a Sweeney Todd reference for the past half hour of this movie and it is getting more and more difficult
Donald apologizes and shows Mindy what is in the bag. (The head of Opay, his old wife)
Mindy: That's so sweet of you!
So Nicholas, Donald, and Mindy all forgive each other and learn the power of family. Pan down to the Easter Bunny and one of the greatest ending dialogues of all time
Donald: What do you say we clean up these dead bodies and start a family, huh?
What's a better message for kids and young teenagers with disabilities?
A) The magical animal isn't really magical and it takes the love of family to support you and stand up to bullies
B) The love of family isn't really enough and it takes a magical animal to stand up to bullies and cure you.
If you answered A), then you should skip Nico the Unicorn and give 9-14 year-old people with disabilities Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! to watch instead. It has far better morals than Nico the Unicorn as well as more topless women and gore.
P.S. Don't actually show your kids Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!. Or Nico the Unicorn.
No comments:
Post a Comment